Help me bring me back to life

 This is a long post but an insightful one. At least I hope it is.  ;-)

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This has been one hell of a couple months. So many good things have happened, and a number of not-so-great things have, too.

First things first ... I'm heading back to California! I'll be in the L.A. area close to a week this time. I'm going to be meeting with people who are contributing to my book as well as people I hope will be. Let's just say I'll be meeting up with people who know the cemeteries out there or know about the silent film stars.

For those of you just tuning in, the cemetery book I'm currently working on is "Forever Silent: Silent Film Actresses and Their Graves." If you've been following me and my work for a while, you probably know that it's my belief that everyone deserves to be remembered. And for those long gone, that means memorialized. When I started really getting into silent films and looking into where the actors were buried, I discovered that many of them have unmarked graves -- and some have no graves at all. While I can't go around finding the cremains of long-gone, long-lost movie stars, I can memorialize them in words.

That's how the "Forever Silent" journey began. I love this project SO much! I've always loved movies and the idealism of Old Hollywood; now I'm diving right into it.

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One caveat to it, though, is that I live in Illinois and many of the stars are interred in the Los Angeles area. I've flown out for a handful of days twice in the past year, but it hasn't been enough time to get all of the photos I want. A couple months ago I found out about Cinecon, a convention all about classic film, with a focus on silents and transition to talkies. How amazing and fitting is that?

So I started scheming. Plane tickets were the lowest I've ever seen out to California. Check! I could get a sweet deal on a car rental. Check! Got another good deal on a hotel. It's not fancy, but it has a lot of history. So, check!

But ... here's the sucky thing about life; it throws stupid stuff at you and then stands back to watch you flail.

I suffer from anxiety disorder and depressive disorder. And panic disorder. You might say I'm outright disorderly.

About a month ago, the disorder squad got themselves super disorderly and overwhelmed me. So I went to my doctor and figured out what I needed to do. Then, while I was feeling a major difference in my health and mind, my insurance company decided that two of my largest bills wouldn't be covered. Long story short, they told me flat out that because I wasn't "suicidal, homicidal or psychotic" at the time that they didn't think I needed the care.

So this means that my trip went from "Yes! I can totally do this!" to "Well, crap." This trip is incredibly important to me and for my book project. I've informally had a literary agent show interest in it and have gotten SO much support from people. The support I've received so far has been exciting and humbling. And with this GoFundMe campaign, I won't have to worry about taking money away from the bills that will be coming in.

My goal is to connect with every one of you and share the things I'm passionate about. And I love hearing what you're passionate about. It's all a journey. I hope you consider taking it with me.

Don't forget you're awesome,
-M.